7 circles of hell

Circle 1: overnight train to Surat something. Not too bad. That is why it is the first       

circle. Overnight trains are just more uncomfortable than hellish. My train left around 5:05 pm.. I was sitting next to some monks and a nice old man so that was fun. One monk kept looking at me and smiling. I don’t know what that means.  This train was a little bit sketchier than the last one, which is saying something,.

Circle 2: This train had an actual toilet. I think the hole in the ground is better. 

Circle 3:  4:24. That is when the train was supposed to get into my stop. So of course I had to ‘wake up’ at 4ish to make sure I get all of my stuff together. I hate mornings as it is but trying to make sure I don’t miss a stop at 4:24 in the am is tricky…especially since I don’t speak Thai. Luckily the nice old man had his granddaughter with him, and she told me my stop wasn’t the last one and told the train employee to make sure I got off at the right stop. He did his job wonderfully. Of course the train didn’t get in at 4:24. I feel like instead of giving a specific time, they should just say ‘sometime tomorrow’ or ‘eventually’ in the arrival slot on the ticket. Since it wasn’t in on time, I fell somewhat back asleep and an hour later (only an hour late!!) the train guy pulled my curtains back and yelled ‘you! Off here!’ oh ok thank you. I managed to get off and find my way across the street to café where I needed to wait for my bus to Krabi.

Circle 4: Communication problems. So I got in around 5:30, and I had to check in with the bus people. Apparently my bus wasn’t until 7:40. And that was ‘too long wait.’ So the coordinator lady told me to take a bus into town at 6. The bus would only take 40 minutes and then a bus would leave at 7 to Krabi and the bus would take 2 and half hours. Sounds like a plan. So the first bit was right. I took a bus into the city; it took around 40 minutes. However, the bus to Krabi was not the nice big tour bus I had seen at the café. It was gHEtto. It was still Air Conditioned. So that was a tender mercy. Also. It left at 7:30. So instead of sitting at a café for an hour and 40 minutes where I could have ordered breakfast and used the FREE wi-fi…I rode on a bus for 40 minutes and then sat around for fifty minutes…to save 10 minutes. That lady and I aren’t friends.

Circle 5: The bus. The estimates I got were 2 and a half to 3 hours. So 10:30 ish I’ll be at the beach and relaxed. Wrong. Very very wrong. The bus was a public transport. So we stopped every 15 minutes to pick up someone or have someone put some cargo underneath the bus that they needed transported. So 10:30 came and went. And then we got stuck in the mud. They were doing road work somewhere and we had to get up this hill. We didn’t make it. We got stuck. So the bus had to essentially roll back down the hill with the you know cliff on the side, and try again. We finally made it up and on our way.

Circle 6: So apparently getting stuck in the mud is not good for an already worn out fan belt. Which is why our bus broke down. It was around 11:30 -12 and we were still 40 minutes outside of Krabi. We had to wait for a new bus which didn’t come until around 12:30 ish. At this point, I was a hot mess. I was on the 9^th level of disgusting and know I smelt. After the new bus arrived we climbed on and headed for Krabi. And arrived without more incidents.

Circle 7: Oh wait. I am actually staying in Ao Nang. So now I climbed onto a truck thing with the other foreigners going to the beaches. We had to drop most people off at the pier where they took a ferry somewhere, then it was a 30 minute to 40 minute ride to my hotel. The only bonus was that there was ventilation because you know, you are sitting in the back of a truck. So I get to the hotel around 2. 2… 21 hours after my train left.  I check in, take a super long shower, get dressed, and head down to the beach. I am lying on the beach for 30 minutes tops and then a massive thunderstorm hits. Yay for day one at the beaches.

p.s. sorry for the whining, but I’m pretty sure Dante’s travels through purgatory was on Thai transportation. ok maybe a bit extreme….but really. 

Truce?

The next day wasn’t much better. Well there was no rain. So that is something. Since it was Cori’s last day, I let her decide what to do. She decided on Victory Monument and then a park close by. Victory Monument was quick, we could just view it from the skytrain. So off to the park that turned out to be a military base and people aren’t allowed in. Frustrated by the 30 minute walk to the park, Cori decides to get a tuk tuk back to the skytrain. The tuk tuk driver takes us to the sky hotel instead. I think this may have been the last straw between Bangkok and Cori. They were not friends. We found our way to a skytrain and then headed to the malls that seemed like something interesting. But I think we were just done at that point. Plus Cori had a ridiculously early flight so we went back to hotel so Cori could pack and get everything in order. After packing, we got some dinner and watched a movie on my laptop. Cori left at 3:30 in the am. I said bye and went back to sleep. 

My train to the beaches didn’t leave until around 5 so I met up with my sister’s friend I’d met a couple of times who was living in Bangkok. Maybe he could show me around, and Bangkok and I could be friends again. So we met at the skytrain closest to my hotel and decided what to do. He was a little sad I had already ‘done’ the touristy things. I was sad I didn’t think to ask him to show us to them. Maybe it would have been less of a disaster. Though I got a good story out of huh? That is what adventures are—things gone terribly wrong and then seem funny afterwards. I’ve had plenty of adventures. Anyway. The first stop was a mall.  On the way, I explained I hadn’t had any street food in Thailand, which apparently was quite blasphemous. I think it became his personal mission to get me to try as much street food as possible. We stopped and got frozen ovaltine. So delicious. Pretty much iced hot chocolate. Then we were at the mall. Cori and I went to the ritzy mall with all of the overpriced stores. Jake took me to the one that had Thai clothes, and accessories. I was tempted to buy some plastic fruit headbands or the ones with the massive stuffed bird on top for friends (Nikki). Classy.

After the mall, we went to lunch. There was a restaurant near Jake’s where he of course ordered because I don’t speak Thai. The food was really good but like most of Thailand’s food very spicy. I have a knack for picking out the spiciest things on the menu. I suppose it is a gift. America gives a false sense of security when it comes to spicy foods because Asian restaurants tone down the spicy for white people. In Thailand, not so much. We even ordered it not spicy. If that was the non-spicy version I don’t even want to try the real version. Although, I handle my spice a little better than Jake. He teared up a bit. I tried not to judge. After lunch we went to the Thailand culture center, which he had never been to and seemed interesting. On the way, he bought lily plant pods that have seeds you have to peel and eat. Quite the task. Again. More street food. The culture center turned out to be closed because it was lunchtime, so we tried feeding the fish some lily seeds. They didn’t like them. After that we went to Chinatown and went to another temple. There, Jake got chrysanthemum juice or as he called it flower juice. It was incredibly sweet. Like when you are a kid and make kool-aid and 1 cup of sugar can’t possibly be right so you add 4…sweet. I couldn’t handle it. So Jake took the diabetic hit for the team and finished mine.

 After the brief visit to Chinatown, we somehow ended up in the red light district. It was during the day so it wasn’t bad. I wouldn’t have noticed really well minus the one side street that had all of the exotic dancer signs. We quickly made our way to the skytrain where we were going to ride past THE robot building. Jake had been talking about it all day. On the train, he pointed out exactly where it was going to be and the best view and see how that part looks like bolts? The highlight of the Bangkok tour— buildings that look like robots. Well robot buildings and street food.

After that we headed back to my skytrain stop, said goodbye, and I went to the hotel to gather my things and get to the train station for my solo trip to the beach leaving Bangkok on somewhat agreeable terms. 

A little rain never hurt anybody…

Until you try and climb an ancient pagoda in it.

After the taxi to the hotel we ventured out into Bangkok. We wanted to go to the Grand Palace and temples in that area. It is more difficult to get to because the skytrain doesn’t reach there plus it is harder when the front desk give you wrong directions. That should have been a sign to try tomorrow and do something close by instead. Oh well.  So we made it to the river and we were planning on taking a water taxi up to the temples. But of course all the river taxis were ‘closed’ then. So we ‘needed’ to take a canal tour and they would drop us off at the Palace. All lies. But that is what we did. The canal tour was pretty cool. Kinda expensive but it is a sunk cost now and it was enjoyable. We got to the palace and got to the ticket booth around 3:20. They sell the last ticket at 3:30 and the place closes at 4:30. An hour seemed like a plenty of time. However, Cori was wearing shorts that were prohibited. I was in a skirt so I was ok. So we had to run down to the information desk so Cori could rent a long wrap.  Again. We probably should have cut our losses and come back the next day. Ha. Oh well.

We got into the Palace and it was interesting. Again my camera battery had died so I have few pictures from Cori. As we were leaving, it started pouring. We ducked into an au pain for some water and a snack. I was half soaked. Cori had an umbrella so she was ok. Damp maybe.  We decided to continue with the temple tour and take a ferry across the river to Wat Arun. We took the wrong ferry in the pouring rain. And had to take a tuk tuk (ps my favorite thai place in London was called tuk tuk. I get it now) in the pouring rain to actually get to Wat Arun.  At this point cori pulled out her poncho the elephant farm had given us ever more prepared than me. I just got wetter if that was possible. Wat Arun is famous for its pagoda that you can climb up. However the stairs are tiny. And by tiny I mean as about as wide as my foot. We decided to climb up it. (at this point we were getting all sort of looks from Thai and white people alike. I was that wet. And most people have the good sense to get out of a massive downpour) The further we went up the worse the idea seemed.  I think the stairs got smaller. Once at the top and looking at we now had to walk down (in the pouring rain) …we regretted our decision immediately. We had to descend one at a time, side stepping. Heavens bless there was a railing on both sides which I held on to – one hand on each railing.  Oh another fun fact. My skirt has an elastic waist and was falling down continually because of the new added weight from the rain. Cori tried to mitigate the damage by tying it with a hair tie, but it was futile the skirt was too wet and already too big for me. Pretty sure I flashed the tuk tuk driver when I got out.  So the skirt plus the rain plus the tiny stairs…it is a miracle I made it down alive. 

After that we took the ferry back across the river to Wat Pho. This temple had the longest reclining Buddha. it was pretty impressive. I felt kinda bad dripping all over everything while I was in there. After Wat Pho we were done and got a tuk tuk to the hotel.  At the hotel I began unloading my backpack, which was soaked through, and drying out my things.  When I was doing this guess what I found…my poncho. It had gotten into my laptop sleeve that is built into my backpack. What a sick joke, universe.

Bangkok –37, Holly- 0. 

New City

Chiang mai means new city. Even though it is one of the older cities in Thailand.  After the past couple of days we decided to see some of actual chiang mai. So we hired the guy that picked us up from the airport and had him drive us to all of the temples in chiang mai and then to the temple on the hill.

Temples are really interesting and there are tons of them. You always have the temple to your right when you walk around out of respect and when you enter you have to take off your shoes.

The temple on the hill is huge. and gold. Very gold. Sometimes it hurt to look at when the sun hit it. You also got a really cool view of chiang mai. We also wrote our names on a piece of cloth that would be wrapped around the pagoda. There were hardly any English names, so I wrote mine in Russian. It seemed to fit better.

After the temples we went to the zoo. (our trip zip lining included a free pass to the zoo. Yay) it was like most zoos. They did have pandas though. Their baby panda was artificially inseminated which they told you all about on the wall across from her pen. A little more than I wanted to know actually.  

From the zoo it was to Chang Thai hotel one last time to collect our bags and then off to the train station for the overnight train to Bangkok. Chang means elephant btw. So we stayed at the Thai Elephant hotel. Great fun.

At the train station, we sat at this cute little restaurant that played covers of American soft rock and ordered fruit shakes. Fruit shakes are just fruit blended with ice. They are amazing because the fruit is so fresh there. And they are cold so perfect after a hot day walking around.

After shakes and dinner we boarded our train to Bangkok. This train was a little rougher than our train from Beijing to Shanghai. And by a little, I mean a lot. It was more like the overnight train I took in Russia, instead of a little compartment with beds, the beds were seats that turned into a bed and then one bed folded down on the top. Then curtains were put on. There were sheets and things as well, but the blanket we were supposed to use was really hot. So I busted out my little cotton cocoon travel sheet. It is like a sleeping bag but just sheets. Perfect for when you don’t want to use sketchy linens. And light. I slept relatively well. Especially considering I didn’t take Nyquil. Ha.  I woke up with some time to spare before our train was supposed to get in. We were supposed to get in around 7 but we found out that our train was ‘late’ and we were still four hours behind. 4 hours?!?!? I was then forced to use the train bathroom. I use the term lightly. It was mainly just a hole.

We finally arrived. We took a pink taxi to our hotel (he completely ripped us off by the way) and listened to some j.biebs remixes on the way. We were in the much newer city of Bangkok. 

Oh my Buddha.

So after the elephants we’d thought we calm it down by zip lining through the jungle. 

We planned on going later in the day so that we could go to church in the morning. Church was actually pretty close and we walked. Although it was like a billion degrees so that was hot. But we got there and there were a ton of white people there. The missionaries translated and we listened through headsets. I try to listen to prayers and the sacrament in the native language and then use the headsets for the talks. mostly I got distracted by this cute little thai girl that was sitting next to me.

After church we went back to the hotel and got some lunch and then were picked up for zip lining. We drove for awhile back into the mountains. It was another hour or so drive. Although while we were driving, we watched a clip from the Amazing Race that featured the flight of gibbon (zip lining outfit) and then they played safety instructions. Which was slightly disconcerting like don’t put your hand on the zip line. Or don’t unhook yourself and fall to your death. Basics really.

So we got there and signed waivers which I wasn’t quite sure how that process works in Thailand with negligence and such. I should have probably looked into that before I went. Oh well. And then we met our guides. If the elephant guides we the nature loving hippies of Thailand, these guides were definitely the hipsters. Black rimmed glasses, gauges, funky haircuts plus they were monkeys. Just having a good time and getting paid for it. We went through this 3 hour course (I think) anyway just mostly zip lining from one tree to the next. There were some stairs and bridges which I found more terrifying than the zip lining (I’ve seen Indiana jones temple of doom thank you very much).   The guides also like to pull on your belt as they were taking off on a zip line and saying things like let’s go or push you off (even though the safety instructions clearly stated not too…) one time someone was goofing off and he pushed someone off but they pushed him almost into a tree…the phrase he used instead of oops… oh my Buddha. ha.

Sometimes when I was flying through the air I’d look down and say oh my Buddha and then think about how my sister would be passed out in fear from the height. Actually she would have never gotten that far.

The most difficult one is where they clipped you in with a hook on your back and said ‘step off’…you step off. Essentially we were supposed to superman off and then grab a rope net/ladder and climb up to the platform. That first step is a doosy because you free fall for a bit.  And then swing forward. Yikes. Plus, a rope ladder? I hadn’t done one of those in years. So that was interesting. At the end we ‘repelled’ down a huge tree. Basically they just lowered us down. Afterwards we had dinner and then back to the hotel where we slept. Chiang Mai wins again. 

welcome to the jungle

elephant day! elephant day! elephant day!

so we got up super early and got picked up at our hotel and then headed out to see the elephants.

it took around an hour and a half to get out to Patara Elephant Farm.

i was as giddy as a schoolgirl. elephants, elephants, elephants.

so we got there and we bug sprayed and put on sunscreen.  and then we played with a couple mom's and their babies. besides because they are super adorable and cute, i think the people running the show wanted to see a bit of our personalities and better able to match us with appropriate elephants.

on the way down to meet our elephants, one girl noticed a massive elephant with huge tusks. the guide laughed and said yes that was one of the bigger male. and then he looked at me and says that should be your elephant. and laughed.

he then explained how to approach your elephant. in my mind, i was picturing being accepted by a hippogriff. having to bow and look in the eyes and not show fear. what we had to do what walk straight up to it from the front, don't be afraid, and feed it. so it was exactly like a hippogriff  :) apparently the best way to make friends with an elephant is feed it. so we were given baskets of bananas and sugar cane.

AND then...the assignments. turns out the guide wasn't joking. he assigned me the massive elephant with the tusks. his name is booyong. (boo- yong -yong like long) i really have no idea how to spell it.

before approaching we have to make sure the elephant is happy. ears flapping, tail wagging = happy elephant. his were so i approached and feed him.
                                                                   
                                                             we were mfeo.

after meeting them we came back to learn how to learn to make sure the elephant was healthy.

4 ways to know an elephant is healthy

1. it is happy- ears flapping, and tail wagging

2. dirt on both sides..that means they slept on the ground. sick elephants sleep standing up because it is harder for them to get up once down when they are sick.

3. sweating. elephants sweat on their toe nails. sweaty toe nails = healthy elephant

4. pooping.  pooping means eating. we had to smell the poop, and actually squeeze it to make sure there was enough water. gross. but actually it is mostly just fiber from grass and things. booyong is only 14. so the fiber was super fine. he still has good teeth. older elephants you have longer pieces of fiber. ok probably tmi. but i found it interesting. eh.

booyong. was good on all counts.

then i had to walk him down and brush him off. try and get the excess dirt off of him before his bath. to 'lead' him (i really don't think you can lead an elephant anywhere. pretty sure they lead you) you grab an ear and say 'mai' which i assume means come in thai. and then 'how' means stop. booyong wouldn't leave until after he got a huge bushel of grass and put it on his tusks. for the road.

after the brushing it was bath time. he just sat down in the river and had a grand time. brush with the wrinkles. like when you brush a horse you follow the hair patterns. same thing. just wrinkles instead of hair.

after the bath..it was time to ride!

getting on was interesting. and not pretty. but oh well. i got on. we went around the area just testing it out. making sure we could handle it. we had to say bi-bi for going. and tap the elephant's ears for him to go. push the right ear to turn left and the left ear to go right. again. i don't think you really steer an elephant.  they made sure we wouldn't die and ..

then off to the waterfall. we walked up crazy narrow passages through the mountain jungle.  really really narrow passages. booyong liked to travel the path less taken. finding different routes. eating anything he could find on the way. (14 yr old boys...) a couple of times he reached his trunk all they away up to get some food. that was a little scary. also he spooked once. terrifying. so we traversed the jungle. made it to the waterfall. we first had lunch and then swimming with the elephants. so awesome.

it started raining when we were at the waterfall. so swimming with elephants in the rain made it even more amazing. then we rode back through the jungle in the pouring rain. probably the best thing ever. although now we were going down hill. and seeing tiny paths flood with water isn't too comforting...and then you remember that you are on a massive elephant that won't slip.

booyong liked to be funny and stop mid mountain and you know scratch his back, or go down a steeper incline. whatevs. it is cool. after we got back i told the tour guy that my elephant liked to go on different paths and do whatever. and he said. yes. he is crazy. personalities match....oh good. i'm crazy.  i think i was a little too eager with the baby elephants and didn't show any fear...so i got the crazy elephant. lol. the guide did say he doesn't like dealing with teenagers so he is glad to make us instead.

it is crazy elephants definitely have their own personality. and are strangely aware of their size. booyong was big and sometimes a smaller elephant would make it through a pass and he would stop think about it and realize he was too big to walk that way. or he was just honey badger and didn't care.

basically. i loved every minute of it and kept having to ask if this was real life.

it was.

air asia

so we flew from hangzhou to chiang mai.

we got on our first airplane. from china to kuala lumpur. originally cori and i weren't sitting next to each other. but luckily there were tons of empty rows so instead of being squished 3 to a row cori and i moved and got our own. i took the window seat. and promptly took a nyquil.

i take nyquils on planes. only one of the 2 pack liquid gels so i sleep but am still able to wake up. people laugh at me but they work. try it.  I was out. i honestly don't remember much of that flight except when they brought the drink cart by. (it didn't matter because air asia is discount so you have to pay for the things you want..no free beverage service) so i went back to sleep and woke up in kuala lumpur. and had to go through 'security' which consisted of waiting for the security girl to get off her phone and the other dude to turn on the luggage x-ray machine. then we put or stuff on the belt and walked through. we then proceeded to the coldest airport of all time. REALLY. i had to pull out my little travel sheet and cover up with it is was so cold. also this was like 5 am. so again kinda out of it.

then our plane was ready for boarding. but first we had to get there. turns out the place we were was just a huge waiting area. we weren't even at our terminal yet. it was like a 15 minute walk to out gate...outside. on the tarmac. once we made it to our 'gate' we had to walk the 5 minutes out to our actual plane. this plane was packed though. no room to move to spacious rows. i sat next to passive aggressive lady. which everyone knows is my favorite. she actually took the safety cards out and held one over her face to block the sun coming through the window. she could have asked me to close it. i suppose i could have been nice and just closed it anyway. oh well.

then we landed in chiang mai. sunny beautiful chiang mai.

we took a taxi to the hotel. which was super nice. OK not super nice but the people were super nice. we again took showers and then headed out to tiger kingdom. WHICH WAS AWESOME. basically. we played with tigers. ok. not really played....but petted. we went in the small tiger cages. they were like 8 months old. and then we also went in with the large tigers. they were like 20 months old. we were only allowed to approach them from behind. and you know. not die. the small ones the trainers would joke and say that they won't kill you just bite you. the large ones though. those ones can get ya. although they were mostly concerned with staying out of the sun. but who can blame them. after the tiger kingdom we went to the monkey school. which was less than impressive and slightly heartbreaking. the monkeys were chained and other in cages. there was a sign saying that monkeys were let go after 5 but who can really be certain.

after that we we rode in the back of our little truck back to the hotel. we were so hot and gross the pool looked amazing. and it was. after the pool we went to dinner and then headed home. cori didn't sleep as well as me and nyquil and even with actually sleeping i was still tired.

oh ps. thai food is fantastic. and pretty sure whatever weight i may have walked off in shanghai is now coming back. dang.